


Aquarium Buds

by happytappyteen, SorryFreudianSlip



Series: Hacker Buds Having Good Times [1]
Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Happy, Aquariums, Bisexual Male Character, Character(s) of Color, Darlene has ADHD, Disabled Character, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, F/F, Fluff, Gay Male Character, Lesbian Character, M/M, Muslim Character, Pansexual Female Character, Trans Male Character, autistic characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 14:53:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7896934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happytappyteen/pseuds/happytappyteen, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SorryFreudianSlip/pseuds/SorryFreudianSlip
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We just wish this wasn't an AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aquarium Buds

“How’s that fresh air, cuz?” Leon squeezed Elliot’s shoulder. Elliot shrugged. 

“Good, I guess. Better than the basketball court. Too much pollution.”

“That’s New York, man. The world is our oyster. What do you wanna do today?” He kissed Elliot’s temple. “We could go anywhere. Do anything.” 

“I just wanna be with you.”

Leon laughed, stumbling into Elliot in a friendly sort of way. Elliot felt very warm. “No, seriously, man. We’ve been inside too long.”

Elliot cocked his head onto Leon’s shoulder, biting the skin of his thumb. “You pick.”

“Let’s see some fish.” 

“Fish?”

“Fish.”

“What the fuck?”

Leon grinned. “You’ll see, cuz. It’ll be fun.”

Elliot squirmed. “Can I bring a friend?”

“Sure.”

*

“Aquarium?”

“Yeah. The place with fish. Wanna come?”

Trenton fiddled with a piece of jade. “Are you really part of the Dark Army?”

Leon shrugged. “Fish or nah?”

“Okay. Have you met Darlene?”

“Cisco’s contact, yeah? I’ve heard about her.”

“My girlfriend.” Trenton smiled.

“Also my sister.” 

Leon blinked. “Huh. The more the merrier.”

*

“Are there gonna be lots of people there?” Elliot asked, holding Leon’s hand and swinging his arm.

“Nah, man.” Darlene was staring at her phone. “I bet we’ll be the only ones. It’s like, an unofficial holiday. Tuesday.”

“I don’t think that’s right.”

“Too bad, twerp. No one does  _ shit  _ on Tuesday.”

“They go to work.”

_ “ Elliot .” _

“Slaves to the machine.”

“Oh my God.”

*

The New York Aquarium was on the boardwalk of Coney Island, meaning -

“Fuck. FBI? What are they doing here?” Darlene hissed. Trenton squeezed her hand.

“Probably investigating our little hideaway. Don’t make eye contact.”

“Don’t worry about that. They don’t have anything.” Elliot mumbled, putting up his hood.

“Yeah, we don’t look the least bit suspicious. Just a couple of grown-ass adults, going to the aquarium with our hot partners. Who gives a shit, fam?”

A white, balding FBI officer was glaring at Trenton. She smiled at him, happily adjusting her hijab. Darlene flipped him off.

“Let’s get this show on the road.”

*

Darlene had been right after all. The lobby was desolate except for a few employees, who took their cash and stamped their hands. Elliot sighed.

“That was easy.”

“Yeah, not as bad as Steel Mountain.” Darlene said, flicking his nose.

“Shh.”

Leon snickered, snagging a map from a kiosk shaped like a squid. “Okay, party people. What’s our first stop? There’s tropical fish, coral…”

“Any penguins?”

“Yep, penguins.”

“Sweet.”

“Sharks, a beluga whale and -- oh my God.” Leon shoved the map in Elliot’s face. “ _ Touch pool _ .”

“Yes, there is a --”

“ELLIOT THERE IS A TOUCH POOL HERE --”

Trenton covered her ears and winced.

“Oh, sorry fam -- touch pool, Elliot,” he whispered. He flapped his left hand, grinning in a lopsided way that made Elliot’s heart melt. Elliot hummed, nuzzling into his shoulder.

Darlene rolled her eyes, but smiled nevertheless. “Guess we’re going to the touch pool, then.”

*

“Now, if you hold the food in between your fingers, the manta ray will come right up and eat from your hand!”

“You serious, fam?”

The bubbly employee’s smile didn’t falter. “It feels like a tiny vacuum.”

“That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day.  _ Shit _ _._ Elliot, you wanna try too?”

“Nah, man, you go ahead, I’ll watch.”

“I’d like to try.” Trenton said quietly, holding out her hand.

“Cuties,” Darlene whispered to Elliot. “How did we end up with such cuties?” Elliot shrugged, a dopey smile on his face. 

“Motherfucker!” Leon shrieked, jumping back from the pool. “He came right up! Did you see that?”

“Yeah, man.”

“Lemme try again. I just got anxious, is all.”

The employee, bless her heart, just laughed. “They flap a lot. They’re excited.”

“That sounds like someone I know.” Darlene said, elbowing Elliot in the side. They all grinned. This was cool.

*

Meanwhile, Elliot was approaching the starfish. It was very still. Do starfish sleep? Was it sleepy? Was he disturbing it? Elliot bit his lip.

“Do you have any questions?” Elliot jumped at the sudden voice of another employee. “Sorry about that.”

“Uh.” Elliot pointed at the little guy. “Is he asleep?”

“Oh no, she just likes to play dead. She loves to be pet. It’s alright if you’d like to touch her.”

Elliot braced himself for a reaction and reached out a finger. It was still. And soft. He closed his eyes and smiled.

*

“C’mon, come out from there!” Darlene pleaded. There was a little hermit crab under a nook in the corner of the tank. “I’m really nice! Trenton will tell you.”

“Debatable.”

Darlene looked scandalized. “Thanks for the support, babe. Come here.” The hermit crab moved further under the rock. “Oh, c’mon. I just wanna poke your shell.”

“I think that’s the problem, Darlene.”

“I give her love and understanding, and this is the thanks I get?” Darlene sighed dramatically. The hermit crab, as though understanding her, seemed to nod in sympathy. “There we go, little dude!”

*

Trenton tapped at the rock. “Is this plastic?”

“Yes.” The employee seemed slightly uncomfortable.

“Don’t you think they’d prefer  _ real _ rocks?”

“Sure, but --”

“Real rocks they can swim around without fear of ingesting dangerous chemicals from dyes?”

“Yes -- but!” The employee rubbed his neck. “We can’t afford real installations anymore. We have them for the sharks, but.” He shrugged. “Times are kind of tight. Wish those hackers could give some money to the kids, right?”

Darlene and Elliot froze. Trenton smiled. “Yeah. If only. Hypothetically, what kind of rocks  _ would _ you install in here?”

*

Leon had fed every single manta ray. The employees had told him their names, but some of them were just silly, so he was gonna make up his own.

“Flapjack?  _ Seriously _ _?_ You look more like… Odin. Yeah, cuz.” The manta ray flapped against the side of the tank. “That’s right, little warrior bro.” He flapped his hand against the water, imitating Odin’s little splashes. “Yeah. We’re cool, little bud.” Elliot tugged on Leon’s sleeves. “Aw, man.”

“Jellyfish, Leon. Can we, please?”

“Of course, cuz. You,” he pointed to Odin. “I’m coming back for you.” He patted his little squishy head. “Godspeed, Odin. Godspeed.”

*

The jellyfish room was almost pitch black. Trenton squeezed Darlene’s hand, fiddling with her bracelets. 

“It’s like you’ve got your eyes closed, babe. Here,” Darlene put her hands over her eyes. “I’ll lead. Forward, forward, little left…”

Elliot’s breathing was nice to focus on. He kept giggling when Leon kissed him.

“Left a bit more, and… open your eyes.”

“I’m scared.”

“I gotcha. C’mon, open up.”

Blue. Trenton gasped. Beautiful little jellyfish, glowing blue. They looked like they were  _ dancing . _

“There she is!” Darlene laughed, kissing her cheek. 

*

Elliot desperately wanted to poke one. 

“Cuz, they have  _ stingers .” _

“They look…” What’s the word? Elliot poked Leon’s cheek. “Like that.”

“Squishy?”

“Squishy.”

“Cuz. They’ll mess you up. Happy floating around, and then  _ zap _ _!_ Happened to Kramer, bud. It’ll happen to you.”

Elliot made a grumbling noise deep in his chest, still poking Leon’s cheek. Leon puffed air into the side of his face, making a little fart noise every time Elliot squished it. “They still look cute.”

“Cute, but dangerous. Now who does that remind me of?” 

“You.”

“Well, yeah, cuz.” 

“Do all jellyfish sting?” Elliot asked. It took Leon a moment to realize he was addressing an employee. Damn. 

“Some do, some don’t. Some jellyfish stings can’t even penetrate human skin.” 

Elliot hummed, thinking this over. “So I could poke one?”

“I don’t think they’d like that, but yeah. Hypothetically. It’d be like poking an egg yolk.”

“You hear that?” 

“Yeah, cuz.” Leon was smiling. “You win.”

“Okay. Let’s see sharks.”

“You just decided that, babe?”

“Yeah. It’s my prize for winning.” With that, he walked off. Leon exchanged smiles with the employee and chased after him.

*

“I’m sad Trenton doesn’t like sharks.” Elliot said, shuffling his pamphlets.

“Yeah. I feel like she should love them, weirdly enough. She likes creepy things.”

“Betsy isn’t creepy.”

“Betsy could spit poison in my eyes and you’d still think she was cute. Snakes are  _ awful .” _

“You’re awful.”

“Awfully in love with you.”

Elliot ducked his head, blushing. “Awful.”

Leon froze. _“_ _ Whoa .” _

“Dude.”

Elliot was one hundred percent certain he was high. Leon whistled.

“That is a big-ass shark.”

“It moves… so  _ slow _ _._ I thought they’d be, like, I dunno.”

“The fuck? Their mouths are huge. Look at it.”

Elliot looked down at his pamphlet. “‘The Basking shark uses its large mouth to catch krill.’ Aw, Leon, he only eats krill. He’s all peaceful and shit.”

“Hey cuz.” Leon pointed back up at the tank. Two of the sharks were swimming side by side. “It’s us, cuz.”

“Aw.” Elliot leaned against his shoulder. “That one’s me.” He pointed to the smaller one. Beside it was a sword fish. “And that’s you.”

“You saying my nose is big?”

“No. You’re pointy, though.”

They sat in the glass shark tunnel, watching colorful fish swim by. 

“There he is again.” Leon said, pointing to the Basking shark. 

“Leon.”

“Yeah?”

“If that shark made a noise, what do you think it’d be?” 

Without missing a beat, Leon let out an enormous bellow. It rang off the walls and enveloped Elliot like a warm hug. Funny. Normally loud noises were hell.

“Nah, I think it’d be like… ‘blao’.” Elliot made a sad noise in the back of his throat, making Leon laugh.

“Maybe it’s a cow sound.” Leon made a plaintive wail, ending it in a fairly impressive gurgle.

Elliot nodded. “Yeah. That sounds about right.”

The tunnel was completely silent and relatively dark. Elliot craned his neck about, marveling at how such variety could exist on a single planet. Slowly his gaze landed on his boyfriend’s coffee-brown eyes, warm and dark, tinged with the same ghostly blue as the jellyfish room. Magnetizing.

“Hey, Leon?”

“Yeah, El?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Leon smiled gently. “‘Course.”

Elliot, leaning up onto his toes until they were numb, pressed one hand to Leon’s heart, took comfort in the routine in the midst of chaos. The one program that responded when everything else shut down. It was tentative, and soft, and completely like a thirteen-year-old’s first might be, yet so different. He felt at peace. Alone in the world but with welcome company. The best kind of static.

*

“Took you long enough, dickheads.”

“We have priorities, too, fam,” said Leon good-naturedly. Elliot flicked at the strings of his sweatshirt, smiling. “Cut us some slack.”

“Pfft. Sure. You missed the penguin feeding.”

“Yo, I missed what?”

“Staff just came by and gave them fish.”

“You’re shitting me.” 

“We’re the only ones here, so.” Darlene shrugged. “Plus, Trenton was being adorable and asking tons of questions. I’m honestly not surprised. At this point, they might make us members or some shit.”

Elliot tugged on Leon’s sleeve. “That’d be cool.”

They climbed the stairs to the penguin room, immediately hit with the smell of fish, salt, and rubber cement. Leon put his sleeve over his nose. “Hell no.”

“Leon, please?”

“I’ll stay up here, fam.”

“I’ll stay with you. Darlene, go be cute with your girl.”

“Not even hard. Later, nerds.” She sprinted to the little group of employees holding buckets.

“I daresay she was glad to ditch us, cuz.”

“Well.” Elliot shrugged, stepping in front of Leon, who wrapped his arms around his waist and nuzzled into his hair. He sighed.

“That smells way better.”

“Creep.”

“Mm. Aw, look at the little guys.” 

The penguins were hopping towards the buckets, to Darlene and Trenton’s delight. They were kinda scruffy looking, and squawked so loud that they echoed off the ceiling.

“That’s you.”

“Yeah.” Elliot grinned, making a tiny yip in the back of his throat. Leon rocked him back and forth, squeezing his waist. 

“Y’know, I oughta send White Rose, like, champagne or some shit.” 

Elliot laughed. “I think she’d prefer a watch.”

Leon paused, looking down at Elliot. 

“Cuz. Lemme introduce you to one of the many joys of Capitalism.” 

“What’s that?”

Leon looked over to Trenton and Leon and decided eh, fuck it. They could text. He steered Elliot over to the exit.

“Gift shops.” 

*

Elliot gaped at all the colors and sounds. There was as much variety and color here as in the tanks. He almost felt dizzy looking at it. 

“Exit through the gift shop, fam. God bless America.”

“I’m digging it.” Elliot said, mouth dry. 

“You getting anything?”

“I don’t think so, ma -- never mind. Jellyfish.”

“Thank fuck I brought cash. I shoulda known we wouldn’t leave without a jellyfish.” Leon’s smile was _ blinding _ _._ Elliot rushed over to the display, dragging Leon along behind him.

*

“I can’t believe they ditched us.” Darlene moaned.

“To be fair, you ditched them.” 

“Psh.” Darlene elbowed Trenton in the side, making hand sanitizer fly everywhere. “Where do you think they went?”

“Uh, I can hear Leon screeching. He found something.”

“Oh god.” Darlene rubbed her forehead. _“_ _ Gift shop ?" _

“Yup.”

“Elliot used to spend three hours picking out the perfect plush whatever-the-hell.”

Trenton giggled. “I want a little penguin. I’ll name him something cute. A toy for Betsy.” 

Darlene shuddered. “Fine, fine. You’ve made your point. Let’s go.”

*

This may have been a mistake. Leon’s arms were overflowing with two giant jellyfish with huge black eyes and tiny smiles. 

“These squish!” Elliot said, pushing them against Leon’s face.

“I see that.” Leon smiled. " You want a few?”

“Yes. And, uh,  I found stuff for you.” Elliot’s smile turned slightly shy. “I think you’ll like them.” He jangled three key chains from behind his back, all shaped like manta rays. Leon blinked. “They, uh. They have L’s on the back. L for Leon.”

“Oh my god.” Leon screeched. Elliot clapped, delighted. “Let’s get  _ fifty .” _

“Alright.” 

“Ah, I knew I heard the dulcet tones of my favorite Leon.” Darlene said, strolling towards them. Trenton was distracted by penguin toys.

Leon didn’t look at all embarrassed. “Motherfucking key chains, man.”

“Oh. That explains it.”

“Cuz, all I’m missing is a chain.”  

“What?”

“A long-ass chain to put these on, you feel me? Walk around, all jangly and shit.”

The other three exchanged looks, trying not to laugh. “I’ll get you a chain if you want, man.”

“Nah, it’s okay. I got a fuckton already.”

“Nice. Those are good to fiddle with.”

“I don’t like the metal paint on them.” Trenton piped up. “It comes off on my fingers and smells funny.”

“What cheap shit are you buying, cuz? Come on, I’ll show you how to  _ live .” _

“Oh god.” Darlene moaned. “The two of them are gonna be killer on my bank account. At least you like the cheap rubber stim toys.”

Elliot giggled, low and raspy. “Or we made ‘em ourselves, remember? With water and plastic bags? And they’d break after, like, an hour.”

“Uh, yeah.” Darlene thought it wise to not mention she totally poked holes in them. “Cheap Ziplocks, you know? Not fit for a raging case of ADHD like mine.”

“So, no correlation to the thumbtacks you’d carry around when I wasn’t looking?”

“Nope.” Darlene slid her sunglasses on, trailing after her girlfriend. “None at all.”

*

When they finally reached the cash register, they had two giant stuffed jellyfish, about eight little squishy plastic jellyfish, 21 keychains, a penguin plush, a pair of shark slippers, and a slap watch covered in little happy crabs.

“She’ll like that.” Leon said sagely. Elliot snorted. The employee behind the counter didn’t even bat an eye. 

“That’ll be $158.26. We only take cash, ever since the -- you know.” The employee waited for them to put everything back.

Leon held eye contact, slapping two one hundreds on the table.

“Do you accept large bills?”

*

Elliot flicked through the channels on Leon’s TV, curled up with Bongo, the larger of the two stuffed jellyfish. He stopped on Animal Planet, where two women were holding panda bears and smiling at the camera. Elliot cocked his head, chewing on the string of his hoodie.

“Hey, Leon?” He shouted. Leon was in his office, hacking funds to the Aquarium. 700,000 was good for the first anonymous donation, right?

“Yeah, cuz?” Leon shouted back.

“Could we go to the zoo?”


End file.
